As you may have noticed, if you follow me on Goodreads, most of my book reviews contain a nice little limerick, the true form of folk poetry. Of course, in the best tradition of British national humor, it’s all about balls and asses. In my case, slightly more related to the books at hand. Now, I wanted to share with you, and so, here’s a small collection of some of my finer limericks. For more, you will have to browse Goodreads, but here be an appetizer.

For example, the seventh volume in the Wheel of Time series, A Crown of Swords:

In Shadar Logoth, there was a trap,
While reading this I must not nap,
Rand al’Thor,
Bullshit some more,
The plot was long and mostly crap.

The Black Prism, Lightbringer #1, Brent Weeks:

Gavin and Dazen they were both the Prism
Until they fell apart in a family schism
‘Twas a girl
Who started the swirl
Now we’re awaiting the color cataclism

The Blinding Knife, Lightbringer #2, Brent Weeks, again:

There was a fat boy named Kip
Whose grandpa gave him the gyp
He trained in martial arts
And read magical cards
Even so he was thrown off the ship

Last Argument of Kings, The First Law #3, Joe Abercrombie:

Logan had a contemplation
Was Ferro just an infatuation
Jezal and Glokta got their wives
On destruction the magic thrives
Bayaz buggered it all with radiation

Also version two:

If the world was up for gobble
Bayaz would be like a noble
He used Logan as a tool
Made Jezal look like a fool
And turned Adua into Chernobyl

Best Served Cold, by Joe Abercrombie, my finest:

When Monza and Shylo to Sipani went
They posed as wenches cheap to rent
Jezal was one
And they were two
Shenkt told Bayaz to get bent

Naked Empire, Sword of Truth #8, Terry Goodkind:

Richard Rahl vanished from sight
Old World Communists he went to fight
He gave a long speech
His nonsense to preach
He rambled well into the night

A Dance with Dragons, The Song of Ice and Fire, George R. R. Martin:

There was an author called George
Best books in the genre he would forge
Then he got greedy
While we were needy
A sequel he tossed into the gorge

It took him five years to write
The fifth installment wasn’t so bright
Slower than snail
We demanded to no avail
The end of the series will never be right

The Path of Daggers, Wheel of Time #8, Robert Jordan:

Dragon Reborn Rand al’Thor
Slaying Darkfriends and so much more
But since book eight
The dresses were great
Instead of fighting he killed us with bore

You get the drift. If you want more of this cra … I mean high literary material, then you might want to explore my Goodreads profile and check all the fine words of prose and poetry I’ve etched there. That would be all for this time. Cheers and such.